I never took more satisfaction in giving a gift than I did in the quilts I used to give to close friends every Advent. I made about 15 of the same quilt design and sent a letter along with each of them telling what the quilts had taught me that year. After I had been doing this for a number of years, my spiritual director showed me all the quilts and asked if I could see — from the designs, patterns, and colors —how I had grown over the years. I was surprised to discover that I could.

Most of us don’t recognize growth in our spiritual lives until we look at it carefully, something we don’t do very often. We think we’re just going along as usual, making little spiritual progress, but that’s probably not the case. That’s where the prayer of examen comes in handy. This simple practice, done regularly, is an excellent way of seeing how your relationship with God is doing.

The practice is simple. Sit comfortably and breathe gently, letting go of whatever agendas or worries you have at the moment. Then look back over the last 24 hours. What were you doing during that time? Who were you with? How did you feel? What were you thinking about? Calmly recollect the events of the last day without making any judgments about them.

Now, with the events of the last day in mind, look for moments when you were cooperating with God’s desires. When, in the last day, did you respond to the world around you as God hopes you will? When did you notice God’s presence with you? Take a moment to offer thanks for these observations.

Next, look for the times during the last day when you resisted God. When were you responding to those around you, or to circumstances, in ways that might not be what God hopes for from you? Take a few minutes to confess these missteps to God, and to ask for and receive forgiveness. Close the exercise by thanking God for any discoveries that came to you.

That’s all there is to the exercise, but don’t let its simplicity fool you. If you do this exercise regularly, and particularly if you keep a journal about what you’ve observed, you’ll start to see patterns and get a better sense of when you’re more likely to follow or resist God. Over time you’ll notice places where you’ve grown and where you’re continuing to resist God, which can help you make any changes you feel God desires from you. Practice this on your own; it also works well with groups.

Resources
Read Sleeping with Bread: Holding What Gives You Life, by Dennis Linn, Sheila Linn, and Matthew Linn (1995), for an excellent introduction to the practice of examen for individuals and groups.

Also take a look at Chapter 3, "The Prayer of Examen," in Richard J. Foster’s 1992 book, Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home.

Debra K. Farrington is the author of eight books on Christian spirituality. She is a popular retreat leader and speaker. Her Web site is www.debrafarrington.com

This article is published in the November 2006 issue of Lutheran Woman Today.

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