by Debra K. Farrington

When she was a teen, Kathleen Norris writes in Cloister Walk, she stopped going to church because she couldn’t be the "good girl" she thought the church required. Good girls didn’t feel anger or resentment, or so she thought. Later, as an adult, Norris fell in love with the Benedictine way of life in which the psalms are important: psalms full of lament, complaint, anger, threats, and demands. Maybe, she discovered, these feelings really do have a place in religious life after all.

The psalms we hear and notice most often are those with comforting and beautiful words. "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want..." (Psalm 23). But you can’t get far into the book of Psalms without finding some less lovely sentiments and accusations. "Why, O LORD, do you stand far off?" (Psalm 10) That’s what I like best about the psalms: There’s not one single feeling you or I have ever had that isn’t expressed there. In those 150 psalms are everything from love songs to deep lamentations. As Esther de Waal writes in her book Seeking God: "In the psalms I find myself at my worst and my best."

The psalms reflect Israel’s full range of conversations with, feelings about, and demands of God. And the good news is that if God could take all of those responses from the Israelites, God can also take them from you and me.

If you’re angry with God, try something poet Ann Weems did, and write your own psalms. When Ann Weems’ young son was killed, she was devastated. Over the years, as she struggled with this injustice, she began to write her psalms of lament and complaint to God. She let God have it with all of her anger, frustration, and pain.

You can do the same. Find some time when you can be alone and without interruptions, and write down whatever it is you have to say to God. Don’t worry about whether your words are beautiful or not. Don’t worry either about the format; prose or poetry — it doesn’t matter. No one has to see what you write unless you want to share it. Don’t hold anything back. God already knows what’s in your heart and won’t love you any less no matter what you say or do. Just be honest with God, and keep writing until you run out of things to say.

Being willing to express our deepest hurt, pain, and anger is actually a gift we can give to God; that vulnerability tells God of our love and trust. Expressing these feelings is sometimes the only way back into relationship with the One who loves us so deeply. Give psalm writing a try next time you’re really angry. You won’t be the first or last to yell at God.

Resources
Read Psalms of Lament by Ann Weems (Westminster John Knox Press, 1995).

For a better understanding of the nature of the psalms see "The Paradox of the Psalms," in Kathleen Norris’s Cloister Walk (Riverhead, 1997).

Debra K. Farrington is the author of eight books on Christian spirituality. She is a popular retreat leader and speaker. Her Web site is www.debrafarrington.com

This article is published in the Jan/Feb 2007 issue of Lutheran Woman Today.

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