by Amy MacLachlan

Dawn–Marie Wesley, 14, of British Columbia, killed herself in 2000. Her note said that death was her only escape. Three girls at school had taunted, threatened, and beaten her. The teen was bullied to death.

Bully Online (www.bullyonline.org), a British Web site, reports that 10 to 12 children kill themselves every year in Great Britain because they are bullied at school. In Canada, one in 11 girls ages 4 to 11 bullies others. In the United States, according to the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center (www.safeyouth.org), more than one in 12 students in grades 6 to 10 is bullied once a week or more.

"It’s a form of child abuse," said Debra Pepler, a psychology professor at York University in Toronto and researcher at the LaMarsh Centre for Research on Violence and Conflict Resolution. "It shouldn’t be cast aside. It’s very serious and is such a tragedy because young people take their lives when it’s bad enough. At no point can we be complacent and think it’s just a part of growing up."

Boys are likely to bully their targets physically, but girl bullies spread gossip, rumors, and sexual comments about their victims or encourage classmates to reject or exclude them.

Because of shocking stories like Dawn–Marie’s, girl bullies have been getting increased attention. But this new awareness doesn’t necessarily mean that bullying is on the rise. Mark Stokes at the National Crime Prevention Council in Ottawa said that because bullying was viewed differently 20 years ago, it can’t be compared to today’s statistics.

"Bullying used to be accepted as part of growing up," said Stokes. "Now we say, ‘just because it happened to us as kids, it doesn’t mean it should be accepted.’ But the feeling overall is that girls, although not at the same frequency as boys, are sometimes found in more violent activities and violent crimes than before."

The tendency to bully is influenced by several factors, including witnessing violence at home. Janet Creery of the Canadian Council on Social Development said that domestic violence has an impact on bullying. Since girls are at a higher risk of abuse at home, they are also at risk of being a bully or a bully’s victim.

According to the National Longitudinal Survey of Children and Youth conducted by Statistics Canada, 27 percent of girls who observed violence at home were overtly aggressive (defined as bullying, threatening, or physically attacking people), compared with 17 percent among those who had not witnessed such violence. Domestic violence was also associated with increased anxiety in girls — which can precipitate being bullied by others.

Girls who are bullied develop a sense of fear, exclusion, and distress. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 160,000 students miss school each day because they fear intimidation. "Bullying needs to be understood as a relationship problem," said Pepler. "Children in adolescence who are bullying others are learning to relate to others by causing distress. The victim is trapped in a relationship where they lose power as it continues, and they’re unable to escape once it is well established." Because being bullied diminishes a child’s status among peers as well as taking away their personal power, victims often resort to bullying others to regain some of that status and power.

The new awareness of the seriousness of bullying has brought forth many peace-building programs. Some are school–based, with teachers trained in dealing with bullying issues. Others are community–led, and schools invite experts to lead workshops. Some programs are student–led, empowering youth to speak out against bullying. Drama, music, reflection, and games may be used.

The Ontario government introduced a Safe Schools Act in 2001 that included codes of conduct, disciplinary measures, and prevention strategies pertaining to bullying, said Bruce Cameron, the Toronto District School Board’s coordinating principal for the policy.

Because bullying by girls often involves social actions such as taunting, insults, manipulation, rumors, and exclusion, efforts to improve the situation must focus on restoring relationships and helping bullies understand how it feels to be ridiculed by peers. "They also need to focus on the developmental issues of the child," said Pepler. "Some need much more support in getting along positively with others." Because peers are so involved in bullying — 85 percent of bullying occurs in the presence of a peer group — the peace–building process must include parents, teachers, principals, coaches, police, and peers. "It needs to be systemic. The problem doesn’t revolve around one child."

Stokes said a program must not be narrowly focused. "A bully is not made in the school — they’re just bringing it to the school because it’s most easily manifest there," he said. "It involves a much broader cross–section of the community."

Bullying is a serious problem for young people. "People have always said, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.’ Well, words can be extremely hurtful," said Cameron, "and, in some cases, far worse than sticks and stones."

Amy MacLachlan is a staff writer with the Presbyterian Record magazine in Toronto. She is a recent graduate of Carlton University’s journalism program. This article was provided by Glad Tidings magazine, a publication of the Women’s Missionary Society of the Presbyterian Church in Canada.